Have you ever gone in your bedroom with your spouse, locked the door behind you, and ignored your kids? My wife and I have, and we plan to do it more often. In fact, we believe doing so consistently is going to improve our marriage.
My wife and I recently decided to go through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. We realized some changes would be very helpful in the way we view and handle our money. We want to do like Dave says, “Live like no one else, so later we can live like no one else.” So, we signed up and joined our small group on a journey to live like no one else.
In Dave’s session about relationships and money, he shared a story about Belgian horses, which illustrated one major key to winning in marriage. It was the second time in a matter of weeks that I’d heard this illustration used in the context of relationships, so I thought it was worthy of researching and writing about.
The cardboard box is waiting for me in the shadows of my garage right where I left it this February. It holds a few dozen strands of Christmas lights magically intertwined into one impossible jumble. Every year I tackle the jumbled mess with a combination of “Eye of the Tiger” enthusiasm and “Jingle Bell Rock” cheerfulness.
By the time I actually get them sorted out hours later, my fingers are frozen and my cheerful enthusiasm is decaffeinated. I tend to keep the project simple after the detangling. I put a few lights along the rain gutters in the front of the house and call it good. Last year I even put some lights in the tree in our front yard.
I am a very competitive person. It’s natural for me to compete and desire to win. It doesn’t matter what it is –basketball, checkers, work, or in marriage.
As men we are wired that way. We are competitive by nature, we want to accomplish great things. But winning in marriage seems to be an arena where we don’t have as much control over the game as in other areas.
His birthday falls on election day, and the year before had been the election of the “hanging chads.” Do you remember watching the news and waiting for hours to see who would be the president that year?
Of course, I made the mistake of hosting my husband’s birthday dinner at a restaurant with TVs. He was consumed with the news, and that birthday was a wash.
I surveyed my readers at the beginning of the year and received some amazing feedback. One particular question I asked brought the most interesting answers. While most questions were multiple choice and basic demographic information, this was an open-ended question and allowed my readers to say what they wanted.
The question was…
I did something I never thought I’d do. My wife has long wanted to do this, but I said no. She wanted to bring this into our bedroom, and I’ve always felt the bedroom really isn’t the place for it.
However, last month I finally gave in, thanks to my mother-in-law. While we haven’t used it much, I’ve really enjoyed it, and I’m excited about getting more use of it.
I say “I love you” to my wife every single day, without fail. But I’m not sure my words always line up with my actions. If I’m completely honest with myself, I have to admit I have a ways to go when it comes to loving my wife the way she should be loved.
It’s much easier to say “I love you,” than it is to actually love her, not because she is unlovable, but because I simply fall short in this area. All of us do, but it doesn’t mean we stop trying to love our wives in the greatest way possible.
Last week I was invited to chat with Hall of Fame NBA Player Bill Walton and is his son, NBA Champion Luke Walton. Bill and Luke are the only father and son combination in NBA history to both win multiple NBA Championships.
We talked about basketball, John Wooden, and their father-son relationship. But we also talked about love, relationships, and how to make your wife happy! Yes, Luke and Bill Walton are schooling us in the love department.
Tomorrow is my wife’s birthday. She’ll be turning 23. 😉 I’m looking forward to spending some quality (alone) time with her, and celebrating her life, but honestly I don’t really know what to do. I am notoriously bad when it comes to this type of stuff. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, and holidays get me just about every time.