What Do You Do When Your Spouse Pushes Your Buttons?


I’ve been married almost 12 years, but my wife still pushes my buttons.  And I know I still push hers.  This week was no exception.  I’ll be honest, this was the first day this week we’ve really had some decent conversation.  Most of the silence was predicated by me.

Whatever it takes to help you through

I’ve come to understand there will be times like this in marriage.  It is reality in any relationship.  Books have been written about it, poems, and of course songs recorded.  One of my favorite music artists is Gospel Rap artist, Lecrae and his song “Buttons” practically became my theme song this week.  Yes, the frustration was high, I had to rely on a theme song to keep it together.

For better or for worse

Although I’ve listened to “Buttons” many times, a few of the lyrics jumped out at me this week.  I’m certain it was because of the friction with Mrs. Bledsoe and myself.  Below are some of the lyrics, and a look into my life this week.

For better or for worse
Sometimes I make you sick, and you get on my nerves
Make it work
I ain’t goin’ nowhere, and I give you my word
I will be right here
So though push my buttons
I ain’t leavin’
You can keep on pushin’
I ain’t leavin’

I could not have said it better!  Although I made her sick, she made me sick, we got on one another’s nerves, neither one of us was leaving!  We might have been sitting up in the same room, mad, not talking, and laying blame on the other (in our minds), but when it all boiled over we were going to keep on pushing.

Marriage Works Valentine's Day Sale - Encore

What you can do to get through

So, what do you do when your spouse pushes your buttons?  Lecrae gave us a blueprint of what you can do.

  1. Remember your promise.  When we got married we made a promise to one another, and most importantly to God.  From time to time that needs to be reflected upon, especially in tough times.
  2. Understand there will be issues, but work through them.  If anyone told you marriage is happily ever after all the time, do the opposite of any advice that person gives you.  Marriage comes with challenges, but anything that is worth having is worth it!
  3. Be there.  Whether you are mad or not, be there.  Even when I was out working all day, or Mrs. Bledsoe was running around with the kids all day, we both knew when we came home the other was going to be there.  No questions asked.
  4. Accept your spouse as they are.  We all married flawed people.  Sometimes those flaws really push us, but don’t let them become the focus of your marriage.  Accept them as they are, even when they push your buttons.  Stay with them and love them even more.

If you have been married longer than a week, then you have probably been at this point before, or are currently there now.  I encourage you to do like I did, listen to the wise words my man Lecrae spoke in “Buttons”, and apply them in your marriage.

Question: Have you experienced issues like these around the time of  a special occasion like a birthday, holiday, or anniversary?  Please share your experience, and how you worked through them in the comment section below.

photo credit: 2thin2swim via photopin cc

Feb 13, 2013