It’s Friday and that means my friend Shawn Snyder, from The Odd Couple Blog, and I are teaming up on our weekly marriage blog. Shawn will share her thoughts (in green) on the topic through the eyes of a woman/wife, and I’ll share mine (in blue) through the eyes of a man/husband. This week’s topic is Best Friends With Your Spouse. Enjoy!
One thing you may have heard is when you consider someone to marry you should be friends first. If you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you should have a foundation of friendship. We can all agree with that, and probably most of us can say it was true of our relationship before marriage. But what about best friends? Is your spouse your best friend? And do you want to be best friends with your spouse?
What makes best friends?
So just what are the qualities of best friends? For starters, best friends love one another no matter what and they are not judgmental. You can be you, and don’t have to worry about a thing. There is a sense of security that you can share any thing on your mind, anything about yourself and your feelings, and it is safe. Best friends have a foundation of truth and trust. Best friends know you. Your likes and dislikes. Habits, both good and bad. And of course, best friends love spending time together.
Why having your spouse as your best friend is great for your marriage?
When you are faced with a challenge there is nobody you’d want to help you face it than your best friend, your “homie“, your “bestie“, your “ace“. When your spouse is that person you have someone rolling with you at all times! It can be you, and your spouse, against the world and you are cool with that!
Marriage is not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that you can swap out for another. It is for life! You will do anything you can to prevent something coming between you and your best friend. That is a great security blanket. And if you are going to spend everyday with someone you want it to be someone you enjoy spending time.
Friends, but not best friends? Here are some ways you can move to being best friends.
Spend time! That is common sense, but necessary to mention. Having a family and/or a career means having a lot going on in your life. Be very intentional about spending quality time alone. Be transparent. Let your spouse in. Sometimes in marriage we let our “boys” or our girlfriends in, but not our spouses. The person you let in is the person that has the potential to be your best friend. Most importantly, begin to put your spouses needs above yours. That is the best competition you can have in marriage. The competition to meet one another’s needs.
Best friends = Best Marriages
Whether you and your spouse share a best friend relationship or not, it is something to be desired. And it is something you can grow into. I encourage you to honestly look at your relationship. Work on becoming best friends together! It is well worth it!
Question: What can you do today to make sure you are best friends with your spouse? Please share in the comment section below.
This week in our marriage blog series we are looking at the question of is it good to be best friends with your mate. The answer might be more complicated then what it looks like it should be. My first instinct is to say yes, of course. But there are many relationships that I am a part of that my husband is not involved in.
Are Girlfriends Enough?
For example, I have my girlfriends and our outings and the things we do. Most of them my spouse would not want to be a part of such as shopping, visiting and exclaiming over new babies and family members. My best girlfriend lives about 1100 miles from me but we still stay close with technology and visits back and forth.
I love the volunteer work I do and have become close to many people. My hubby never touches this world because he is at work while I do this. Also, there is Bible study and the ladies there that I care for very much.
I wanted to share with you that a person can be involved in many things and have close friends at all of them. But, my first instinct was correct. My husband is my best friend we come together and share what happens in each others lives when we are apart but my heart and my allegiance belongs to my very best friend in this entire world, my husband.
Activities To Bring You Together
We keep our relationship up by sharing in the activities that I mentioned before but also by spending time together and making memories that we can draw on. Our family draws us close and we love to spend time with our kids. My hubby and I enjoy some of the same activities we mostly putter around the house and yard working together helps to cement our bond. Our faith also is a big factor in keeping our marriage intact and drawing us close to one another.
There can be lots of other people in your life but make sure that your spouse has the honor of being your best friend!
Share with us how you and your spouse are best friends.
Common interests are a big deal:
About 4 years ago, our family was driving home from Arkansas to Indiana. Our family vacation was spent as guests at an extended family’s house. Great family, but as they say about house guests, fish, and 3 days…
During the 12 hour drive, we discussed what went well, what didn’t, and what to do instead. Somewhere on Interstate 44, We started noticing RVs – travel trailers, motor homes, pop – up campers…
We invested in a used pop – up camper and we go on adventures as often as we can. Mostly as a family, not often enough just the two of us. My Darling Bride and I are both passionate about a common interest that we discovered together – sort of by accident! And we both enjoy it very much.
Common interests are a big deal.
Thanks for sharing Jeff! yes, common interests are a big deal!