How a “Domestic Sexy” Husband Can Stimulate His Marriage


Okay, I have to start off by being transparent.  When I first heard the term “domestic sexy“, my mind immediately went to my wife dressed in a French maid outfit cleaning the house, and…you fill in the blank.  I know, I know, I should be ashamed!  (I said I was starting off transparent!)

This post is from my series of top posts from other sites I write for.  I realize some of you may be unaware of my writing outside of my blog.  So, the next 5 days I will republish my top posts from these sites.  Today’s post is from the award winning site, (BMWK).  BMWK is the largest independent African-American marriage and parenting site on the web.  The title of the post as it was originally published on BMWK is, “Husbands Stimulate Your Marriage…Be “Domestic Sexy.”  You can read the entire article below.  Click here to read all my BMWK posts, and join the conversation on the original post by clicking here.

As my mind came back from the gutter, I discovered the phrase “domestic sexy” had nothing to do with my wife or anybody’s wife housecleaning.  But it had everything to do with me, and all the other husbands.

I was sleeping on “domestic sexy“!

What I also discovered is a domestic sexy husband can have the same effect on our wives as the effect I had in my mental trip to the gutter.  An effect that can stimulate, excite, and energize our marriages.

So you might be thinking what exactly is domestic sexy, and why do I need to be  domestic sexy?

Throughout my almost 12-year marriage, I’ve done my best to study my wife and learn her likes, dislikes, turn-ons, and turn-offs.  Sometimes (frequently) they change and I have to unlearn or relearn her new likes, dislikes, turn-ons, and turn-offs!

Some of the fellas probably understand what I mean.  But through all of that, one thing has consistently come back to me as an almost guaranteed way to energize our relationship.  Being domestic sexy.

What in the world is “domestic sexy“?

We all know what it means to be sexy.  Attractive.  Exciting.  Appealing.  Most of us relate the word domestic to work in and around the home or family.

Household tasks such as cleaning, yard work, bathing the kids, or preparing meals.  These tasks usually fall more on the side of the wife than the husband.  When a husband is domestic sexy he completes those tasks that his wife normally does, so she doesn’t have to.

A domestic sexy husband handles the things his wife may be able to do.  He also takes care of things which may be a little more challenging or undesirable to her such as household repairs, pumping gas, or cleaning the toilets.

When you combine them, you get a husband who completes those tasks, and is sexy to his wife.  He is domestic sexy.

Marriage Works Spring Sale Banner - 25 MARRIAGE-CHANGING RESOURCES FOR ONLY $15!

Why should you be “domestic sexy“?

What happens when you are domestic sexy?  First (and obvious), things which need to be taken care of around your house are taken care of.  But the impact it has is even greater.

It affects the emotionalmental and intimate areas of your marriage. [Tweet this]

A domestic sexy action may be more appealing than flowers, more fulfilling than dinner out, and more relaxing than a back rub. [Tweet this]


your wife knows she is not in this alone.  I have heard stories of wives who say they feel like they are a single mother, due to most of the burden of the domestic duties falling on them.

When you are domestic sexy, your wife knows you are there for her, and with her. [Tweet this]

She is secure in the fact that no matter what happens, you are going to do what is necessary to make sure she is comfortable.


your wife feels loved and feels you are truly concerned about her.  This isn’t a given in marriage.  And even when it is present, we still must say and show it.

As a husband, leave no doubt you love your wife!  And remember love is a verb; it is about action. [Tweet this]

Your actions as a domestic sexy husband will show you love your wife.


your wife knows she has a strong chest to lay her head on.  Although you may be grinding every day to provide for your family, you still have enough inside you to meet your wife’s other needs.

You want your wife to know when she is tired and falling, you are there to provide rest and to catch her. [Tweet this]

When she knows this she will want to lay her head on you.

Appreciate your “domestic sexy” husband

Many of us husbands are already doing the things mentioned above.  For those who are, here is a fist bump, and encouragement to keep it up.

For the wives who have domestic sexy husbands, appreciate him and encourage him in word and action. [Tweet this]

I know I make all kinds of mistakes and mess things up, just like many other husbands, but when I am domestic sexy it always invigorates our relationship.

It could be worse

Wives, just think, if being domestic sexy means taking care of business around the house, relieving you of some tasks you typically do, and doing the difficult tasks, then what would a husband who is not domestic sexy look like?

Question: Husbands, are you domestic sexy?  If so, how has it affected your marriage?  Wives, how does it affect you when your husband does any of the domestic sexy actions discussed?

May 15, 2013