Once you have children, your life changes. You begin to do things differently in an effort to care for, provide, and guide your children. Of all those things, there is one thing that a father can do that will provide the greatest impact on his children’s lives.
The “Single Greatest Thing A Dad Can Do For His Children” is to love their mother. Plain and simple! No matter your relationship “status“, loving your child’s mom is the greatest thing you can do for them!
Show them what love looks like
When the kids see dad loving mom, then they see what love looks like. Your sons will know how to relate to women as they grow older. Your daughters will know how a man should talk to her, and how a man should touch her. Nothing less will be acceptable.
Love (squared) is always increasing
Loving your children’s mother frees her to love and nurture them. Your love encourages and inspires her to do so in the best way she can. There isn’t anything to get in the way of this love being expressed to them. Now the love of your children is exponential.
Harmony and the meeting of needs
There is peace that comes in the household when dad loves mom. When you love someone you care that their needs are met, as much as you care that your needs are met. There is a constant effort to meet the other person’s needs. Anytime mom and dad’s needs are met the children’s needs usually are too.
Teamwork makes the dream work
We can do much more when we work with others striving for the same thing. Our children feel the bond of a team, and know if they falter there is not just one person to pick them up, but two people working together to get back them back on track. That team is a wonderful foundation, that much can be built from.
A charge to all dads
I encourage all my fellow fathers to not just love your children, but to love your wives, love the mothers of your children. You will create a solid foundation for your children, that will provide lifelong benefits, greater than anything else!
Question: Dads, what ways do you show love for the mother of your children? Moms, how have you been shown love by the father of your children? Please share in the comment section below.
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Face his emotions rather bury them.
Depression, entitlement, fear, self-doubt, etc. don’t go away in men just because we shield them with masculine bravado.
But ignoring them will destroy a family unit as we stay on our vicious cycle of dysfunction.
Fathers should show their sons especially that it’s possible to be an emotionally healthy man while not losing that masculinity that drives us to lay our lives down for our families.
I agree with this. I came across this post because I was searching for scientific data on the effects on children resided by parents who love and care for each other. Do you know of any such research or data?
Bible say a wife should Respect her Husband and Submitte unto him As Unto The Lord No where In The Bible Does it say A wife must love her Husband it says to Respect Him God direct Comand is for the Husband to love his wife As he (God ) loves his Church how much did God Live His Church (To His Death ) The Cross.
Simple yet profound article Jackie,
Showing Love!! I think we all can strive to do it better/more. I try everyday. Somedays better than others, but I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Good insights. You share such possitive provocative ideas for your readers. Keep up the wonderful thoughts!
My husband and I have been married for 28 years. The one (of many) things we have always done with our daughters (who are now adults with children) is never speak ill of each other to our children when we are in a disagreement. We have informed them that we are working on a situation that we have not yet resolved however, we know we will with time and prayer. this has tremendously helped our children in their personal relationships. Name calling, back lashing resolves nothing and only makes matters worse. This also teaches are children the wrong way to handle situations.
What about in the case of remarriage (blended families)? How does a dad love his children’s mother when he’s remarried to another woman?
Hi Cindy. Great question.
A dad can still love their mother. Just not in the romantic sense. 1 Corinthians 13 says (paraphrase) “love is never gives up (is patient), love is kind (cares more for others than for self), it does not envy (doesn’t want what it doesn’t have), doesn’t fly off the handle, it doesn’t “keep score”, always looks for the best, etc.”
Loving his kids’ mom like that, even after divorce, will have a HUGE impact, and doing the opposite will have a HUGE (negative) impact.
I agree. Villanizing (is that a word?) an ex-spouse is among the worst things children of divorce endure. Seeing X as wounded rather than an opponent can help. Not to pity, but have grace. Respecting the “otherness of the other” is a mindset and skill that takes time. I encourage professional counseling for the parents during and through divorce and remarriage – it’s a gift to the children.
The mother of my child has my son and 2 girls. One has never met her father because of certain circumstance but, I highly agree. Even though she’s married now and loves the man she’s with. I choose to love her unconditionally because she’s the mother of my child. The oldest one who has not met her dad see’s me as her dad and i’ve been able to stay in not just my son’s life but, theirs as well.
That is awesome. Way to be a great example. And thanks for sharing.
Great testimony, Phouphet. I’m encouraged!
Does this go both ways? Is the best thing a mother can do for her kids is to love their father?
Great question, Mina. I think one of the best things a mother/wife can do is respect her kids’ father. The Bible speaks of this in Ephesians 5:33.
Isn’t the mother/wife also to LOVE their kids’ father too? Doesn’t love go both ways?
Yes, I believe love does go both ways, Mina. How we love invites the other to love (and respect). Attitude makes all the difference! Entitled is the enemy, thankful is the invitation.
To an outsider, Mina – your continuing to ask this appears that you are Waiting – Demanding – that once she shows love to you – Then – you’ll show her love back. It appears conditional on your part – and that possibly you don’t make it easy for her to love you. Your resistance to openly welcome this invitation to simply “love” your wife – especially in front of your kids – hopefully awakens in you to take the 1st step if you’re feeling like your not getting the love you desire – for both your sakes.
Amen and high five! I would add that, unfortunately this gets tricky in a divorce situation. Sometimes loving their mother means just keeping one’s mouth shut. The “love squared” in that case would be to help take the tension out of it for the kids, to show basic kindness and grace, even letting the kids know that she’s a really great mom. That goes a long way for a strained or broken relationship.
Great perspective, Joel. Thanks for sharing that as I’m sure it is trick in those situations, but still very important.
Yes, it is tricky, Joel. Kids are smart and pick up on the unspoken tension even if a parent keeps their mouth shut. Post divorce is a journey of grace and forgiveness for all.
I agree 110 percent, eight children and 14 grandchildren later and My wife is still my breath, my heart and my life.
Awesome! Keep being a GREAT example for dads!!
Awesome testimony, Chef! Keep up the great work.
Love is a strong thing and works wonders. You’re obviously a good dad. 🙂
I enjoy reading your column.Its amazing to see a young that is so wise. Bless you
Thx Julia! Glad you “stopped by” my blog. 🙂 It is really encouraging to hear that you are reading it and it’s valuable to you!
That’s such wonderful advice. We really need to be role models for our children and the family structure needs to be strong. Children tend to imitate the kind of behavior they see at home because parents are their very first teachers. Great blog!
Agreed! When the family breaks down it has a very far negative reach/effect. We have to create solid foundations. Thanks for your comment1
I believe this with all of my being. And I watched my dad do this with my mom.
Greatest thing he could have done. Awesome! Thx for sharing!