Is Communication a Problem in Your Marriage? THINK Before You Speak

My marriage wouldn’t be where it is today, without counsel and support of other married couples. We’ve been through counseling. We’ve  had friends “camp out” at our house in the midst of a trial until we worked it out. Too many couples to name have covered us in prayer and helped us in many other areas.  Each has been very valuable.

Is Communication a Problem in Your Marriage? THINK Before You Speak - - Growing Family Leaders

Growing your marriage by observing others

One thing that stands out to me has been watching and learning from couples who have years of marriage experience under the belts. This year we were invited to be a part of a small group of couples intent on growing our marriages.

The group is being led by a couple who has been married over 30 years. We’ve known them for a few years, and just in observing them our marriage has been blessed.  Now we get to sit at their feet and have them pour into us.

Improving the communication in your marriage

This past Friday was our second session, and we were introduced to the acronym T.H.I.N.K. The acronym is used to encourage a person to think before they speak. Often times we, well let me speak for myself, I do not think before I speak. When this happens a mess can be made of the conversation.

Communication is a huge part in the success of your marriage. If you don’t communicate, or don’t communicate well, being happily married will be very difficult. In fact, practically impossible.

T.H.I.N.K. then speak

If you have been having problems with communication in your marriage, then it may be time for you to T.H.I.N.K. before you speak. Doing so will start you on the path to having better communication and a better marriage.

T – is it True?

Is what you are about to say true? If you cannot be truthful in your marriage, problems will arise. A lack of truth will lead to a lack of trust, and a marriage cannot survive without trust.

H – is it Helpful?

Can what you are going to say help the situation? If it doesn’t help the situation, then it may be hurting the situation. If that is the case then there is no use saying it at all.

I – is it Inspiring?

One of your goals in marriage should be to bring the best out of your spouse. You want your spouse to reach their full potential, to be their very best, and to represent your union well. If your words will not accomplish that, then find something to say that will.

N – is it Necessary?

So maybe what you are going to say is true. But is it necessary? Everything that comes to your mind does not have to be said. If it is true, if it his helpful, and it is inspiring, then I’m certain necessary will follow.

K – is it Kind?

A kind word turns away wrath. Sometimes the best thing you can do in a disagreement is to say something kind. It is hard for someone to continue in an angry tone when they are being showered with kindness.

We’ve all heard it before

All of us have probably been told at some point to think before we speak. This acronym brings new light to that phrase for me. It is also a habit which will better my communication and marriage as I practice it.

I encourage you to do the same with the communication in your marriage. T.H.I.N.K. before you speak and grow into a better marriage.

Question: What methods have you tried to improve the communication in your marriage? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

photo credit: Ed Yourdon via photopin cc

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7 thoughts on “Is Communication a Problem in Your Marriage? THINK Before You Speak

  1. Most of the time what I try to do, especially if my spouse is not open for discussion at a particular time that I feel they should be, LOL!!!!. I try to stop and ask the Good lord for his timing for the conversation and for His wisdom when its time to talk about a topic because my timing is way way off and I can get a little bit anxious and when that happens(for me anyway), I can blow things way out of sync and miss getting better acquainted with my spouse and sharing important thoughts. If that makes any sense.

  2. I really like the T.H.I.N.K. acronym.

    My wife and I keep expanding our communication in several ways.

    We take classes at our church together and talk about the Sunday message every week.
    We each put our personal relationship with God before even our relationship with each other. A God-centered marriage is key to a successful marriage.
    We never ever go to bed angry….never.
    We prayer for our relationship daily.
    And, we never work on or worry about our marriage. That’s just a label we could both hang on a different relationship in the future…which we never ever ever ever want to do as long as we both shall live. It’s our relationship that is unique to us.

    Great post, thanks for sharing and your open honesty.