How to Encourage Your Spouse With These 5 Actions


Being married is wonderful in the fact you have someone there with you, and for you, at all times.  It is a reciprocal relationship. Sometimes you are in need of encouragement.  Sometimes you need to encourage your spouse.  I was in need of encouragement earlier this week, and my wife was there when I needed her.

Monday morning blues

The start to my week was rough.  After a very busy weekend, I was done Monday morning.  Monday didn’t care, as it had a ton of stuff waiting for me to do.  I really wanted to climb back in bed and sleep all day.

I just couldn’t get going like I needed to.  Fortunately, I am married to a wonderful woman.  She stepped right in.

Meeting needs in marriage

The wonderful part is I didn’t even have to ask her.  She instinctively sprang into action, and did her part to encourage me.  As the day closed, and I had gotten out of my funk, I praised her, and reflected on all she had done.

Although these actions were specific to our situation that day, there are some takeaways and common actions which can be used in your marriage as well.  Without a doubt, there will come a time for you to encourage your spouse.  When that time comes, these action items can help you quickly encourage your spouse.

How to Encourage your spouse with these 5 actions

  1. Seek first to understand.  I am certain my wife was just as drained as I was.  Her weekend was just as busy, if not more.  She could have easily pointed out the fact I was slacking, as I was.  She could have not cared how I was feeling, nagged, and condemned my actions (or lack of).  However, she was patient, kind, loving, and very understanding.
  2. Pray for and with your spouse.  I began to feel overwhelmed with all I needed to do.  It was turning into frustration and sulking.  I could see my day was not going to be productive, and some major ball dropping was about to happen.  In the midst of this she calmly knelt next to me, laid hands on me, and prayed.  It was just what I needed at just the right time.
  3. Speak your spouse’s love language.  My love language is acts of service.  She knows this, and she began to speak it.  I had meetings, writing assignments, calls to make, a desperately needed haircut appointment I was trying to squeeze in, and a ton of other stuff to do.  She filled every gap there was.  She selected and ironed my clothes.  Fixed a meal to get me started.  Quickly got the boys ready, so I could make it on-time to my barber appointment.  She even stopped what she was doing to come pick the boys up from our barber appointment, so I could leave to attend a meeting.  And she prepared the things I needed for my meeting.
  4. Take a back seat.  Keep in mind she had a ton of stuff to do as well.  She probably had seven hours of sleep Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night combined!  Her Monday morning duties didn’t care about her weekend either.  However, she put my needs before her needs.  She put my needs ahead of her own.  Next she put the kid’s needs above her own.  She willingly put her needs in the back seat so our needs could be met.
  5. Remind them of the big picture.  Even with her help, my day was still full and challenging.  I had to grind it out.  That grind could have sapped me, and had me right back in a discouraged state.  However, she subtly reminded me of the big picture.  She reminded me of why I do what I do, and what is ahead.  Her favorite scripture, Galatians 6:9, summarizes this so well.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up”

I want to encourage you to take action when you see your spouse in need of encouragement.  Taking the above 5 actions can quickly turn your spouse’s day or mood around.  He/she will love and appreciate you doing so.  When you both consistently take these actions, your marriage will be better off.

Question:  What do you do when your spouse is in need of encouragement?  Please share in the comment section below.

photo credit: wakingphotolife: via photopin cc

May 23, 2013