For most couples, marriage is a heavy weight to manage. That’s a very bold statement, isn’t it? When you have over 50% of marriages ending in divorce, it’s safe to say that those marriages carried a weight that was difficult to manage—in most cases.
Growing a thriving marriage doesn’t end after the honeymoon—and it doesn’t end past the newlywed five-year period. It takes work, just like anything else in life worth living for.
Marriage is not simply a choice you make to marry your friend; marriage is actually a calling in life and for life (see Ephesians 5:31-33).
This also confirms the fact that the bridegroom and bride are partners in life, and for life. They share a common name, a united household, a common experience, and a love, which blesses and transcends all the cares and trials of life.
The mathematics of love in a marriage relationship adds and multiplies joy, while subtracting and dividing the pains and the sorrows.
For many (especially guys), we ask God for the right lady to marry. Then we ask her parents for her hand in marriage. Once they agree, then we tie the knot. Easy, right!
The truth is, more often than not, we don’t know the weight of what we are asking. Our very best idea of a marriage relationship feels right and as good as relaxing under a palm tree in the Caribbean.
The dream of a marriage relationship will eventually collide with the calling of that marriage. The decision carries with it a crushing weight if it lands on a person’s character that is unprepared for this calling.
The good news is—there is a positive and supportive weight that can take our marriage to another level of success.
Here are some truths and realities we need to know about the weight of our marriage calling that will take us from just a dream to proactively building and customizing a great marriage.
Friendship before marriage
Friendship before marriage is an essential positive weight to the calling of a marriage.
In his book, The 7 Rings of Marriage, Jackie Bledsoe mentions the importance of a marriage relationship that starts with a strong friendship. When that friendship is established before marriage and well developed after marriage, it will catapult your relationship to a whole different level of trust.
The weight of your marriage relationship is not a seasonal idea or dream—it’s a lifelong calling.
When our spouses understand and trust that our marriage relationship has a strong foundation of friendship—a serious commitment treated as a serious calling—then trust is established, leaving no room for questions or distrust.
The weight of your marriage calling requires a marriage vision.
Every calling needs a vision and a plan to execute that vision. A vision provides direction, excitement, and hope.
Again in his book, Jackie mentions the importance of having a vision for your marriage. In this vision you must implement strategic ways to include the desires of the couple as one—not the wishes of one.
In other words, it is vitally important to craft a marriage vision that incorporates the desires of both parties in a marriage relationship.
This calling is the effort of two—not the fulfillment of one. My wife and I have customized our yearly marriage and family vision plan for over fifteen years, which has made a huge difference in our marriage and our family!
I fully believe God made the very DNA of your being and of your marriage to carry the marriage calling and bless the world with it for as long as you both shall live.
Prayer—the greatest portion of a calling
Just as much as I pray for my ministry and all the different aspects of my family’s ministry, so my marriage needs much covering in prayer.
With how easy it is in the world we live in to destroy a marriage, a home, a family, and a calling, prayer is vital.
Without prayer it’s impossible to carry the weight of your marriage calling.
The weight is great! But it is a good weight.
By weight, you can tell that I’m not suggesting that marriage is hard to handle or difficult to carry. The opposite is true.
Sure, every marriage has its struggles and trials, but everyone can experience an awesome victory through prayer that brings maturity and growth in the marriage calling.
Let me give you a quick truth you may have never thought about: Society needs the very best you, and your very best marriage you can demonstrate.
With a strong foundation of friendship, a lifelong promise of commitment, a vision that will transcend the ideas and struggles of life, along with the most essential ingredient of prayer, the weight of your marriage calling will be one that others would love to model.
Question: What other plan of action would you add to this list to help carry the great weight of your marriage calling? You can leave a comment by clicking here.