Want to know how you can radically improve your relationships? Your marriage, the relationship with your kids, relationships with your co-workers and employer, relationships with your friends, or anybody else. There is one small change that you can make for this to happen. Put more focus on giving value to the other person, and less focus on the value you are receiving. That is all. Make it about them! I know this is not a ground breaking discovery, but it is effective when practiced.
What’s in it for me?
Many people enter relationships based more on how the other person (or party) can help them instead of how they can help the other person, in both business and personal relationships. Many relationships end when one person feels the other is no longer helping them; when they are no longer receiving the value they expected. The customer is no longer satisfied with the product or service, the employee feels the pay isn’t enough or they aren’t valued, the employer feels the employee is not producing enough, the spouse feels they are not getting their needs met, or in the case of a blogger, like myself, the readers no longer feel the content is valuable to them.
No benefit = no relationship
Very seldom do you see a relationship end in which one person feels they are the one not providing value to the other person, and they voluntarily choose to end the relationship. Sometimes you may not even realize you are no longer meeting needs, or producing enough because you are primarily focused on what you are receiving, not what you are giving. This small perspective change could dramatically change your relationships and make them more fulfilling.
What do I have to give? > What can I receive?
Imagine starting a relationship based on the value you provide, or beginning to do so in your current relationship(s). Finding out how you can help someone else, and making that a habit. Many of us can’t imagine that, as it’s not “normal” to most people. It’s not human nature to not seek that which provides value to us. I disagree and I believe it is human nature to give value, to create, and to give life to. This in return provides you the value you desire. It seems very radical at first, but overtime this practice will bring results that would not have been achieved through the “norm”. Zig Ziglar says it best, “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.” If you embrace this concept I believe you will experience radical growth in your personal and business relationships, and you will get more in return than you ever have. So let’s all change from the “my needs” mindset to a true “your needs” mindset, and see what happens.
Try it for yourself!
I encourage everyone reading this to try this concept out for at least a week. Choose a current relationship and focus solely on giving value and nothing else. Do not be concerned with what you are receiving (even if the person thinks you have lost your mind). Please check back in to this post and share your results when the time period is up. I would love to hear them.
Question: Are you receiving value from my blog? If not, please tell me how I can serve you better. If so, please share what you like so I know what is valuable to YOU.