11 Tips to Grow Your Relationship


Have you ever once tried walking up a downward moving escalator?

Sure, probably not since you became an “adult”…but as a kid?  If you haven’t, I don’t care how old you are….next chance you have…do it.

This is a guest post by Eric Dingler.  Eric is a blogger and speaker on the topics of meaningful marriages, proactive parenting, family fun and workplace leadership. He blogs at www.ericdingler.com.  He, his wife, and their two children live at the youth summer camp and year round conference center in Ohio that Eric has led for over 12 years.  If you want to guest post on my blog, check out the guidelines here.

It takes a bit of effort to pursue the goal of getting to the top and overcome the downward movement of the steps, but it’s totally doable.

But here’s the thing….

If you stop putting in the effort, if you stop the pursuit for the top; you won’t get stuck in the middle…you’ll start moving backwards. [Tweet this]

You can’t pause and take a break.  You are either going to go forward or backward.

These same principles are at work in your relationships.

All of your relationship; you and God, you and your kids, you and your spouse, you and your team and boss, etc.

But for the next moment in time, let’s focus on our marriages.

What is your desire for your spouse?

I’m going to assume you have a strong desire to have a healthy, living and dynamic relationship with your spouse.  In fact, after your relationship with God, nothing else on earth should compete with your desire for your spouse. [Tweet this]

Your desire to spend time with her.

Your desire to talk with her.

Your desire to share moments and experiences with her.

Your desire to help her succeed.

Your desire to see her happy.

What would you add to the list?

The missing ingredient in relationships today

But, how do we keep the excitement alive?

Why do we know so many married couples who are now simply roommates?

Why is it such a rare thing to see an “old” couple still holding hands?


We stop putting the effort into the pursuit.

So how do we keep the pursuit alive?  We share ideas.  I’ll start, you add on.

The idea

Relationships Grow In The Pursuit [Tweet this]

Tips and suggestions

  1. Refuse to leave the house without saying “I love you” and passionately kissing your spouse.
  2. Plan a surprise birthday party for just the two of you.  Especially if it’s not their birthday…they’ll totally be caught off guard.
  3. During the day, play games via text messaging.
  4. The next time you and your spouse get stopped at a traffic light, kiss until someone honks their horn that the light is green.
  5. Brag about your spouse to everyone you meet.
  6. Have a “secret code” that refers to “the physical act of Love”.  Then, the next time you and your spouse are together and someone brings up a question like; “So, what do you like to do in your spare time?”  In front of your spouse you can answer, “I love to “clean the garage” with my wife.”  or “I actually enjoy “paying the bills” with my husband.”  Just pick something that nobody actually will want to talk about further like fishing, hunting, scrapbooking, etc.  That could make the rest of the conversation all kinds of awkward.  And, don’t use “air quotes” when you say your “secret code”.
  7. Cook a meal together.
  8. Volunteer together at church or at another organization.
  9. Schedule time with each other on your calendars and refuse to let anything compete with that time slot.
  10. Read, learn and use the book The Five Love Languages.
  11. On a quarterly, monthly or weekly basis celebrate together; Marriage Mondays, Together Tuesdays, We Wednesdays, Through it all Thursdays, Frisky Fridays (HELLO), Spending time together Saturdays, Sundae Sundays.

What other Tips and Suggestions Do You Have?

What you can do right now

  • Write a note to your spouse for one year from today.  Include a commitment to something new.  Then, make it happen.
  • Schedule a date night right now.
  • Write a poem, order flowers, plan their favorite meal, make reservations at their favorite restaurant or anything else they would appreciate that is outside your comfort zone…in other words….make it about them.

Question: What variations or alterations would you suggest?

photo credit: bigbirdz via photopin cc

Mar 22, 2013