Being kind, it seems, is sometimes missing in our house. Or in our car, while in route to our destination. Or anywhere we are.
The last week or so our kids have frequently gone into what I call “verbal warfare” over the smallest things.
Sometimes they are not even arguing. Just saying anything, even just one word, to continue frustrating their sibling(s). Yes, even the two-year old is involved.
We are all learning how to deal with this “warfare“, by being kind.
The Wrong Approach
After a while of hearing it, or after I cannot take anymore, I will intervene in a very loud voice. Translation, I “go off” for a quick second. Not very kind.
The results are sometimes mixed with that method. Sometimes it results in one of them blaming the other, which starts the blame game. Other times, depending upon how much I “go off” some feelings get hurt, and eyes may get “watery.”
Get What You Give
Lately I’ve tried another method.
“Being kind, like a boomerang, always returns.”
Instead of returning to them what they had been “throwing” out, I choose to be kind. In a calm voice, I say the following:
“A kind word turns away anger.” (from Proverbs 11:25)
Immediate silence.
A Lesson for All
They don’t bark back at me, or one another. It serves as a reminder to them, that if they want the other person to be kind to them then their words will need to be kind. I’m guessing in the heat of the moment they don’t want to be kind, so they don’t say anything!
This has been a lesson for all of us. I was violating the very principle that they were, by raising my voice to try to break them up from raising their voices. “Hindsight is 20/20“, so I now see that wasn’t the best approach.
When You Know Better, You (Should) Do Better
We’ve all been in similar situations or disagreements. I feel comfortable saying that we all know that principle. Some may call it the “golden rule.” I try to practice being kind in my work and social life, but was guilty of not always practicing it in my family life.
I encourage you this week to be conscious of what you “throw out“, in all situations. Think of every word, every action, even every look as a boomerang that will return to you exactly what you “threw out.”
Question: Have you been kind in a potentially volatile situation? What was the result? Please share in the comment section below.