Have you ever had access to something that would help you, but you didn’t use it? Or had the knowledge to do something, but didn’t put that knowledge to use?

Let me be the first to raise my hand!

Why don’t we do what we know works?

There’s one thing that I’ve heard over and over again that other couples do, and have game-changing results. I believe in it and think it’s great, but I don’t always do it.

I’ve heard talks, sermons, attended seminars, and read books completely dedicated to this very thing. But for some reason I haven’t gotten around to doing it consistently. Sometimes it’s completely missing from our relationship.

Easy, but effective

But recently I’ve started to take action. I decided to just do it. And do it on a daily basis. It has been a GAME-CHANGER for my marriage. And it is so simple I’m almost ashamed that I haven’t done it. Most days it takes less than five minutes to actually do.

I don’t have to go anywhere, I don’t need anything, and I don’t even have to prepare for it.

All I have to do is grab my wife’s hand, kneel beside her, or lay with her, open my mouth…and pray. That’s it, prayer. Prayer is the ultimate game-changer for your marriage!

Do you pray with your spouse on a regular basis?

As I alluded to earlier, my wife and I have not always been faithful in praying, at least not together. Every single night we pray with and for our kids. Every single day we pray alone, even if just a quick prayer. But we realized our prayer life together, as a couple, was almost non-existent.

We attended a marriage retreat in the spring and we were given a challenge. Actually, the husbands in attendance were given a challenge. The challenge was to work out every day alone, and with our wives. Not physically, but spiritually.

My new morning workout plan

We were challenged to have a regimen of Scripture reading and praying alone before everyone in the house woke up. And then to follow that up with reading a Psalm with our wives, and praying together immediately after. We had to do this for 21 straight days, and our wives could not remind us if we failed to do so.

I accepted the challenge. Did I go 21 for 21? Nope, not at all. But I made good on my promise more days than not. And after we reached Psalm 21, we didn’t stop. We kept going. And our marriage is so much better for it.

It’s a simple thing for a couple to pray together. But I’ve learned that not many couples actually do it. Most of us have heard it, but we’re not all doing it.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” James 1:22, NIV

But since we’ve done what it says, the game has changed in our marriage.

3 ways praying with my wife has changed the game in our marriage

1. Stronger Connection. We pray in the morning together, and it helps us to better stay connected all day. Prior to that we found ourselves going about our own business each day as we started it in different ways and at different times. Praying together daily connects us for those moments together, and guides our thoughts, words, and actions throughout each day.
2. Better Communication. Our communication with one another and with God has grown. Going before God together breaks down all barriers. It gives you a look inside your spouse’s heart, and allows you a platform to discuss those tough topics in your marriage. It’s amazing how the communication gap is now smaller since inviting Him into the conversation.
3. Deeper Intimacy. As the communication barriers are broken, you become more intimate. Intimacy involves sharing something with someone else that you don’t share with everybody. There isn’t anything deeper than praying together as one to God. The pastor at the retreat suggested praying together before intimate moments. We have done that and let’s just say I’m glad I listened, and did what he said.

We knew prayer needed to be a major part of our marriage, but we were deceiving ourselves in this area. But since we began to actually do it consistently my wife and I have experienced firsthand what God can do in a marriage filled with prayer.

I now issue the same challenge to you. Read a passage of Scripture and pray with your spouse for 21 days straight. Watch how God works in your marriage and family.

[reminder]What small things have you done that have changed the game in your marriage?[/reminder]

Photo credit: Dimensions Photography

Note: I originally published a version of this post in my church’s quarterly magazine.