How to Get What You Want in Marriage


I’ll be honest, sometimes I want to get what I want in marriage.  It sounds selfish, but I’m keeping it real.  In spite of my “realness” I have learned, and you probably have too, that after marriage your life is not just about you.

Your happiness in marriage will depend on how well you meet the needs of your spouse. [Tweet this]

If you don’t understand the point above, then you are in for a bumpy ride.  When you do understand it, you can fully embrace getting what you want in marriage, and you can do it without being completely selfish!

You might be thinking so how is it done?  How can you get what you want in marriage?  It is actually pretty simple.  Here are three things you can do to help get what you want in your marriage.


The first “trick” to getting what you want is giving.  It is plain and simple, when you give you will receive.  It’s proven, and it’s biblical.  Luke 6:38 reads, “Give, and it will be given to you.”  Proverbs 11:24 reads, “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.”  So not only will you benefit by giving, if you do not give, you will suffer.

If you want respect, then give respect to your spouse.  If you want quality time, then pay attention when they are talking.  Intimacy?  A back or foot massage every now and again won’t hurt.

However, do not give with the sole purpose of getting something in return.  Give because you want your spouse to know you love them, respect them, and they are important to you.  Give and you shall receive.

Marriage Works - Encore Valentine's Sale


Encouraging words can do wonders for a person.  They are refreshing, and I would say the phrase, “too much of a good thing”, does not apply here.  The Bible says, “Pleasant words are like honey.  They are sweet to the spirit and bring healing to the body.”  They bring healing to the body.  Wow!

You want to get what you want in marriage, bring some healing to your spouse’s aching body in the form of encouraging words.

I relate this to someone smiling at you.  It is very hard to not return the smile.  That smile does something to you, it makes you feel good, it makes you want someone else to feel just as good.

Encouraging words will bring a sweetness and healing to your relationship. [Tweet this]


I have coached youth sports for the past 8 years and taught middle school kids for the past two years.  One thing that has stood out to me is the more I teach the more I learn.  When you study something for yourself, you get some understanding.  However, when you study something to help someone else, you gain a lot of understanding.

That has been my experience with coaching, teaching, and now blogging.  I blog for myself and my readers.  Through my efforts to teach what I’ve learned from my experiences my marriage is benefiting, my parenting skills are improving, and my family is being blessed.

Maybe you don’t coach, teach, or have a blog, but there is some family, some married couple, with less experience than you that you can come along side to help.  Teaching has helped me get more of what I want, and it can do the same for you.

G.E.T. more out of your marriage

If you are intentional in your giving, encouraging, and teaching I’m certain you can get what you want in your marriage.  The best part is these principles do not just apply in your marriage, but in other areas as well.  G.E.T. more in your career, your church, and your community.  You will benefit and so will those you come in contact with.

Question:  In what ways can you G.E.T. more?  Please share in the comment section below.

photo credit: Poppy Wright via photopin cc

Feb 22, 2013