The Ultimate Game-Changer for Your Marriage

3 Ways Praying with My Wife Has Changed Our Marriage

Have you ever had access to something that would help you, but you didn’t use it? Or had the knowledge to do something, but didn’t put that knowledge to use?

The Ultimate Game-Changer for Your Marriage - Jackie Bledsoe - JackieBledsoe.com

Let me be the first to raise my hand!

Why don’t we do what we know works?

There’s one thing that I’ve heard over and over again that other couples do, and have game-changing results. I believe in it and think it’s great, but I don’t always do it.

I’ve heard talks, sermons, attended seminars, and read books completely dedicated to this very thing. But for some reason I haven’t gotten around to doing it consistently. Sometimes it’s completely missing from our relationship.

Easy, but effective

But recently I’ve started to take action. I decided to just do it. And do it on a daily basis. It has been a GAME-CHANGER for my marriage. And it is so simple I’m almost ashamed that I haven’t done it. Most days it takes less than five minutes to actually do.

I don’t have to go anywhere, I don’t need anything, and I don’t even have to prepare for it.

All I have to do is grab my wife’s hand, kneel beside her, or lay with her, open my mouth…and pray. That’s it, prayer. Prayer is the ultimate game-changer for your marriage!

Do you pray with your spouse on a regular basis?

As I alluded to earlier, my wife and I have not always been faithful in praying, at least not together. Every single night we pray with and for our kids. Every single day we pray alone, even if just a quick prayer. But we realized our prayer life together, as a couple, was almost non-existent.

We attended a marriage retreat in the spring and we were given a challenge. Actually, the husbands in attendance were given a challenge. The challenge was to work out every day alone, and with our wives. Not physically, but spiritually.

My new morning workout plan

We were challenged to have a regimen of Scripture reading and praying alone before everyone in the house woke up. And then to follow that up with reading a Psalm with our wives, and praying together immediately after. We had to do this for 21 straight days, and our wives could not remind us if we failed to do so.

I accepted the challenge. Did I go 21 for 21? Nope, not at all. But I made good on my promise more days than not. And after we reached Psalm 21, we didn’t stop. We kept going. And our marriage is so much better for it.

It’s a simple thing for a couple to pray together. But I’ve learned that not many couples actually do it. Most of us have heard it, but we’re not all doing it.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” James 1:22, NIV

But since we’ve done what it says, the game has changed in our marriage.

3 ways praying with my wife has changed the game in our marriage

  1. Stronger Connection. We pray in the morning together, and it helps us to better stay connected all day. Prior to that we found ourselves going about our own business each day as we started it in different ways and at different times. Praying together daily connects us for those moments together, and guides our thoughts, words, and actions throughout each day.
  2. Better Communication. Our communication with one another and with God has grown. Going before God together breaks down all barriers. It gives you a look inside your spouse’s heart, and allows you a platform to discuss those tough topics in your marriage. It’s amazing how the communication gap is now smaller since inviting Him into the conversation.
  3. Deeper Intimacy. As the communication barriers are broken, you become more intimate. Intimacy involves sharing something with someone else that you don’t share with everybody. There isn’t anything deeper than praying together as one to God. The pastor at the retreat suggested praying together before intimate moments. We have done that and let’s just say I’m glad I listened, and did what he said.

We knew prayer needed to be a major part of our marriage, but we were deceiving ourselves in this area. But since we began to actually do it consistently my wife and I have experienced firsthand what God can do in a marriage filled with prayer.

I now issue the same challenge to you. Read a passage of Scripture and pray with your spouse for 21 days straight. Watch how God works in your marriage and family.

Question: What small things have you done that have changed the game in your marriage? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Photo credit: Dimensions Photography

Note: I originally published a version of this post in my church’s quarterly magazine.

Is your marriage surviving or thriving?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • I could not agree more. This has been a central part of our marriage for over a decade and I believe it is one of the single greatest keys to the strength of our relationship. I especially agree with your comments regarding intimacy. Prayer is one of the most intimate things my wife and I share together and it is priceless.

    Many years ago God convicted me that this was one of the best ways for me to be my wife’s protector as well. Each day when I left the house I would call her and pray with her as I drove to work. We home educate our children so I wanted to make sure I covered her in prayer as the day began. It has made a dramatic impact on our marriage and our home school.

    Thanks for writing about this and encouraging men everywhere to step into this privilege and responsibility. Our wives are depending on us.

  • Hey, thanks for that, Jackie. I’ve been rediscovering this one recently. I usually pray with and over my wife last thing before I go to bed every night, and that’s been really great. Recently I’ve been extending that to go longer, praying with each other, for each other, and for everything else we can think of. That’s been real good.

    The new game changer? Connecting in the middle of the day – not with requests or honey-do kinda stuff, but just to say hi, how are you, and I love you. Small, but I feel like it impacts me almost as much as her, you know what I mean? It’s that act that reminds me that she really is special, and living out my calling to her helps me live out my calling in other parts of my life too. It’s that integrity as a man and husband.

  • Pat Mingarelli

    Great Thoughts! My wife and I have prayed together from day one. How can a man not be devoted to the one he prays to everyday and the one he prays with everyday!

    • Wow! I loved the way you put that, Pat. Thanks for sharing!

      • Pat Mingarelli

        You are welcome and again thanks for the blog. I am the same Pat responding. The photo is different becomes I’m logged in from Twitter on my iPad.

    • Love that line too, Pat. It’s a big issue though when we aren’t praying!

  • Kirby Ingles

    Spot on! I make an intentional effort to kiss my wife first thing after I walk in the door, before I do anything else, like setting down my bag, taking off my shoes, talking to my kids. I want her to know she is the first thing on my mind and put her first before anyone or anything else. Then I ask her how her day was before we even get into anything about me.