Nobody goes into marriage planning to fail. At least I hope not. I will not get into any Kardashian marriages on my blog! Although couples do not set their marriage goals for failure, at least half of marriages do fail. Why is that?
Where is the love?
I have found there is a foolproof method for succeeding in marriage. When you know and practice this in your marriage, it never fails. It is simple.
You must love your spouse.
Marriages that fail lack love. Yes, they lack love. You may be saying that is the reason couples get married. Love is what brought them together, so how can you say they lack love?
More than a feeling
When I say love I am not talking about the emotional, mushy, feeling of love. I am talking about real love. The love that never fails. The love that God has for us. I emotionally love my wife. But sometimes that feeling can evaporate in a heartbeat!
Feelings come and go
I can come home after a hard day to find chaos and a mess. Feeling gone. I can be looking for my favorite shirt to wear only to find out of all the clothes washed, my shirt was somehow left at the bottom of the dirty hamper. Feeling gone.
The same goes for her. I can fall asleep before giving our boys a bath, and leave it to her to finish after cooking and cleaning and homeschooling them all day. Feeling gone. I can drive her car and forget to put gas in it, then the next time she is rushing somewhere with the kids she has to stop and pump gas. Feeling gone.
Love in action
That feeling of love can come and go with your circumstances. That love is not lacking in many marriages. However, the love that never fails isn’t emotional and contingent upon things. It is a choice. It is doing. It is unconditional.
Choose to love your spouse to keep your marriage from failing. The apostle Paul teaches us this principle in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. He tells us what love is. Below I’ve listed ways to put this love into action.
Your actions can make your marriage succeed
- Be patient
- Be kind
- Do not envy
- Do not boast
- Do not be proud
- Do not be rude
- Do not be selfish
- Do not get easily angered
- Keep no record of wrongs
- Do not delight in evil
- Rejoice with the truth
- Always protect
- Always trust
- Always hope
- Always persevere
Love never fails
When you and your spouse consistently do the actions of love, your marriage will never fail. Neglecting them can leave you subject to your emotions. When you are subject to your emotions your marriage could become one of the negative statistics. That isn’t what you planned. You planned for a marriage that will never fail.
Question: Which of the points listed above can you do better in loving your spouse? Please share in the comment section below.