Whether you’ve been married for six-months or sixty-years, taking time to make your marriage work is vital. Once the honeymoon phase of your marriage wears off, the hard work really begins.
Every day is filled with new tests of your marriage. Believe it or not, at some point your spouse is going to drive you bananas, and you are going to make them nuts.
According to researchers, about 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce. While that number sounds high, that means that about 50 to 60 percent of marriages last! If you want to ensure that your marriage lasts for the long haul, here are a few secrets successful couples know:
Keep Dating
Just because you’ve “found the one” doesn’t mean the work is done. Finding time to date after you have kids is even harder! Couples who stay together find the time to date.
Your date nights don’t have to be fancy or expensive, but should be frequent. By frequent, that means you should date at least twice a month, but aim for once a week. (Note from Jackie: For some great plug-and-play date night ideas check out my brand new resource, Date Night in a Box: 12 Plug-and-Play Ideas to Connect with Your Wife This Weekend).
Keep Talking
One of the main reasons dating is important in marriage is because it helps create opportunities to communicate. With jobs, kids, school, bills and friendships all bartering for your attention, finding time to talk about your day is important.
Find a time when you and your spouse can be alone, for at least 15 minutes. This may mean getting up a little earlier or going to bed a little later.
Talking helps relieve stress, tension and is a great way to draw closer as a couple. Try to spend at least a few minutes not talking about the kids or bills.
Work on a Goal as a Couple
Whether you both want to work out more, eat healthier, save for a home or vacation or win the local fair’s chili cook-off, working on a goal together is a great way to create unity and fun in your marriage.
Having a project that you work on together provides more opportunities to bond, offer support and communicate. Find something you both feel is important and help each other be accountable.
Remember Why You Got Married
On the tough days it can be hard to remember why you chose to get married. If the bills start stacking up, the car keeps breaking down and the kids won’t sleep, you are probably frazzled and tempted to duck out.
A simple way to remind yourself why you got married is to write a letter to yourself and lock it away for a really bad day. Likewise, another fun idea is to find a memento to place in your home or office, like the pin found here on Pinterest. Seeing this reminder every day can help give you the extra push to keep going.
When you said, “I do,” you committed to a lifetime of love and happiness with your significant other, and while it will take a little hard work and effort on your part, when you make steps to ensure the happiness of your spouse, you may find it can be a lot of fun working on your marriage!
Take a moment and share why you got married?
Photo credit: Jaicey Bledsoe