Not too long ago my wife took our recurring date night out of our calendar. Without saying it to my face, she basically told me “date nights are off!”
I was hurt. First, I enjoy dating my wife, which is why we made it important enough to put in our calendars. Second, I offer a Date Night in a Box to help other couples have consistent date nights! How am I not going to be dating my wife??
My wife and I were just talking the other day after a few days of hard rain how our grass had just shot up. It seemed like I just mowed it, but a few days later it looked longer than before I cut it. Our grass has been thriving this summer.
We were thinking back to the past couple summers how our grass was brown, dry, and withered by the time August came. But this season is not the case. I’m mowing the lawn like crazy as it’s green and growing. It brings to mind a quote I read from Gary Chapman…
A couple of months ago my wife and I needed help. We were not talking, we were pretty rude to one another, and the worst part — we didn’t care whether we hurt each other or not. We had reached that nasty place where our hurts, frustrations, and disappointments with one another left us cold, detached, and numb.
At the same time we were preparing for our first speaking engagement as a couple in front of real people (versus online), which just happened to be at the annual marriage retreat we attend as a couple. In addition, I was preparing to present at the Sex Without Sheets online conference.
At the beginning of this month we took our first family road trip vacation in years. My wife and kids and my parents packed up two cars full of stuff and headed west. We were headed to spend time with my brother and his family in Missouri. But this was a trip that almost didn’t happen.
We had an amazing time. The words I kept hearing from our kids were “epic family vacation!” I have to agree, although I didn’t think it would happen. Shortly after the trip was initially planned we found out that our daughter had a national track meet the same week.
A few weeks ago, my wife and I were in our bedroom talking and our kids were in the room doing their own thing. The next thing we heard was, “Dad, can you come here!” from one of our sons. It didn’t sound like a panic, but there was a seriousness to the tone of his voice.
I could tell he was very concerned about something. I’ve heard that tone before, and typically he doesn’t say what it is he needs, but I know to come and see what’s going on. When I got to the room, it wasn’t an emergency, and most of those instances it’s not. It wasn’t even really a big deal…to us. But to him it was pretty serious, and he needed help.
About a month or so ago just as the season for grass cutting hit full swing here in Indiana, we tried to start up our lawn mower and it wouldn’t cooperate. Nothing we did seemed to work. And this was our “new” lawnmower, which is a gently used mower given to us by a family member because our other mower kept breaking down.
So, our grass began to rise (as I’m sure our neighbor’s frustration did along with it). Then one day it happened. Two dads, our dads, converged on our house with lawn equipment and tools. My dad and my dad-in-law drove over an hour to our house with the intent of not only taking care of our grass, but getting our lawn equipment up and running.
I am a very competitive person. It’s natural for me to compete and desire to win. It doesn’t matter what it is –basketball, checkers, work, or in marriage.
As men we are wired that way. We are competitive by nature, we want to accomplish great things. But winning in marriage seems to be an arena where we don’t have as much control over the game as in other areas.
The day we get married we make some promises to our spouses, in the form of our wedding vows. We promise that through a myriad of circumstances we will love them through it all and ultimately never leave them. If the studies are true, only about 50% of us keep those promises.
I’m certain we all have good intentions. We want to honor those promises. We want to love our spouses like the days we were dating and courting. But somewhere along the lines those promises are forgotten, or at least aren’t at the top of our minds.
Last Sunday on our web show we had a snafu that left us unable to share the amazing interview we had with our guest couple.
So, to keep our promise of sharing an interview with a couple who has or is working toward a lasting and fulfilling marriage, we turned the tables. We decided to sit in the interviewee seat.
We are excited to share part two our interview with Mike & Kristin Berry, where they share some challenges they’ve experienced as the parents of eight kids, this Sunday, on the 7 Rings of Marriage Web Show!